What is self-control?

When you hear the word "self-control" what is the first thing that comes to mind?

• Is it the control over how much you eat?

• Is it the temptation to scroll through social media?

• Is it the ability to wake-up early and go to bed early?

Whatever it is, it's all self-control. Self-control is the ability to control your own thoughts, feels and actions.

Google definition: "Ability to control oneself, in particular one's emotions and desires or the expression of them in once's behavior, especially in difficult situations."

Self-control is a key factor in achieving success. You can not control everything but you can definitely control yourself.

Self-control, willpower and making choices uses the same amount of energy. For example, you could have the willpower to wake-up early and have self-control not to have that donut in the break room at work. After a day of making choices at work, by the time you get home you have less energy and may make poor choices or have less self-control and have some desert without thinking twice.

What is something in your life you wish you had more self-control over?

Maybe it's your eating habits, or when you wake up? Maybe it's something so much bigger. What if it's having control of when to say no. Feeling in control of your own life choices.

Do you ever have those moments that you are going about your life and you start to question why you do the things you do? Maybe you realize you only do the things you do because you were told your whole life, that is what you should do...

Self-control is making your own decisions, finding your own beliefs, doing the things you love to do, and loving the way you want to love. I believe we are all born with a purpose, our beliefs and a soul that holds our true self. But the older we get we lean on others to influence us on what we think, feel and do.

Why should we have self-control?

Self-control is understanding what is happening around you, collecting as much facts as you can and building your own beliefs and opinions. Acknowledging that just because you may have found the facts on the situation that the opinions you make from those facts are your choice to make and do NOT make them facts. It may be hard at times when others don't share the same beliefs as you and you may feel tempted to change their mind. Just as you have the choice to make your own beliefs and opinions, so does everyone else. This is not a negative thing but the beauty of life. Our differences is what makes change and growth in our world. If none of us had self-control to make our own choices then the world would never change, new invention wouldn't be made. Having self-control over all aspects of your life can guarantee you live true to yourself, While also allowing others to be true to themselves.

We DO NOT have control over others.

As I mentioned before, we may wish to have control over others or even think we do have control over others. None of us are robots or have chips in our head that make use do things out of our will... you may even hear the saying "they were brain washed" or " had no other choice". In reality they had 100% a choice. When someone is easily influenced but others lack self-control. They still have the choice to be influenced with no questions asked because either they have little energy to question, in some way believe to a point what they are being told or don't want to admit they were scared to following through with the other choice. For example a group of teenagers want to go to a drinking party. Some people in this group may think to themselves they don't think this a good idea and want to back out. They have the choice of staying with their friends or leaving. Seems simple but we have all been in this situation before. What's really going through their head is do I stay so I don't lose these friends and maybe even be liked a little more or do I go and chance losing these friends and be made fun of for not joining? Most of us are going to stay and later on say they really didn't want to go they just didn't have a choice. There is always at least two choices to every situation.

In the situation that we are upset with someone because they didn't do what we wanted them to or thought they should have done. Is a way that we may be trying to control others. You have the ability to tell them what you want and wish for but they still have their choice on what they do. Before jumping to anger you can ask them what happen that caused them not to follow through. Try to understand their side and point of view.

Self-Control is a beautiful way of being true to yourself. Listen to your self and not be afraid to be yourself. It's not about ignoring your thoughts and emotions but studying them, learning from them and growing from what have learned about yourself.

Take advantage that you have control over your thoughts, emotions and actions and build the life you love to have with people you love around you.

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